A Heavenly Christmas: Darkness Descends 

Ostara lay on the ground rubbing her head.  Who ever heard of an angel bumping their head?  For that matter, who ever heard of an angel falling out of the clouds?  Ostara sat in a puddle of despair as big as the snow drift around her.  She must be the worst angel that ever existed.  She had no self control.  look at all the things she destroyed in her carelessness.  Twice she caused all the creatures on earth to be destroyed through her carelessness.  And the one time she got angry the poor people of Pompeii lost everything.  Ostara sighed.  She didn't know how she was going to complete her assignment.

 

She dragged her feet to the window not caring who saw the tracks she had made.  The little gold snowflake whizzed around her head in an effort to be noticed, but Ostara brushed impatiently at it until it went away.  She stood at the window staring into the darkness seeing nothing until Nick hit the switch on the light, as if bringing Ostara back to her task.

 

Ostara stared at the fine lines of his face.  The whiskers that had grown there overnight only seemed to enhance his masculinity.  That was certainly not something she needed.  He was already man enough.  She turned her back to him noticing the trail in the snow that her golden friend was repairing one snowflake at a time.  "Oh, I'm sorry!  Just another example of my inability to do things right."  With a sad wink, Ostara repaired the path until the land between the window and the tree were once again a solid blanket.

 

This time Ostara lifted herself above the snow before shuffling her feet.  Even a car ride this morning did nothing to cheer her and she walked her way to the warehouse longing to catch a glimpse of hope along the way.  It was a short walk through shopping centers where it was supposed to be festive and rush hour traffic that was too hurried to be cheerful.  When she reached the warehouse at the same time as Nick, she was near tears, too distraught to realize that Heaven itself must have been disturbed to create such unrest in her heart.

 

By the time she arrived most of the employees were busy at work.  Andy was in Nick's office trying to convince him to play the Christmas station again.  "But think about how good things went yesterday.  Man, if I didn't know any better I'd say you hate Christmas!"

 

Nick looked up as Andy said this.  "I think you're finally catching on."  His voice came out smooth and even, but Andy saw the pain well hid beneath the calm.  Not many people knew what happened between Nick and Clair, but Andy did.  Andy was the one who picked him up at the bar last Christmas and took him home.  Andy was the one who sat on suicide watch all that night and the next night.  It wasn't until he finally convinced Nick to go to his sister's that Andy got a break, but he didn't get a break from worrying.  No one should go through that, especially not at Christmas. 

 

Nick saw the thoughts run through Andy's mind.  Yeah, he finally understood.  Andy shook his head.  "Hey man, thanks for yesterday.  They'll never see it for the Christmas gift it was, so I'll just say thanks for all of us."  With that Andy quietly walked out of Nick's office.  Ostara stood in the corner watching the encounter with a puzzled look on her face.  Did one of those people die at Christmas?  But that just didn't sound right.

 

Ostara spent her day sitting on top of the teddy bear box she had discovered her first day at the warehouse.  It was high enough to see everything and she could sit there and think.  First there were all the deaths.  And so close together.  Then there was something else that happened right at Christmas. 

 

Why would god send her on such a difficult mission and with so little information?  She just couldn't do this job.  She was incapable.  There were so many other angels she could have sent that would have been much better for the job.  Santa would have been perfect, but he was always busy at this time of year.  Athena could have figured out all the pieces long before Ostara ever would.  Even Hecate would have done a better job.  Ostara curled up with the pain that suddenly coursed through her.  She let herself drift down into the box of bears as if to hide from all the worlds.  "Something has happened in Heaven and I am on my own with an impossible assignment," she thought.

 

Nick couldn’t stop pacing his office.  He didn’t know what was wrong, but there was something.  He should just go out and help load the trucks, but he was so jumpy he knew he’d explode at the first guy who got in his way.  He sat down at his desk and tried to put together the delivery route for the next few days.  Unable to sit, he finally decided to help with the loading.  He just had to burn off some of this agitation.

 

Although the day hadn't been quite as productive as the day before, Nick felt that they had still made a great deal of progress and dismissed everyone at 4 on the nose.  He almost regretted not playing the Christmas station as he watched the tired gloomy faces parade out the door in front of him.  If he had thought that letting the guys off early would improve the depressing mood, he was wrong. 

 

Nick grabbed Andy’s arm.  “Did I miss something?”

 

“What can I say?  When Nick’s unhappy, everyone’s unhappy, I guess.” 

 

“Nah, it’s more than that.  Don’t you feel it?  It’s like the first time you went on a roller coaster.  You didn’t know if it was going to kill you or make you puke, but you just had to go.” 

 

Andy stared at Nick.  “What’s gotten in to you, man?  I know this is a bad time of year for you, and all, but you’re starting to lose it.  Go home.  Get some rest….and lay off the juice!” shaking his head Andy headed to his truck.

 

Nick just couldn’t shake the heavy feeling of trepidation.  He closed up the last truck just as the phone rang.  He grabbed it noticing the scent of roses drift past him.  He didn't have time to think on it though. 

 

It was her on the other end of the line. 

 

He didn't wonder long why she called him again after all that time.  He could hear the baby in the background digging talons of hatred into his heart.  He barely listened to her gabbing about her wedding. 

 

Instead he heard her voice telling him the child he was looking forward to had been fathered by another man.  A child he had loved the moment she told him she was pregnant.  He spent all of his very next check buying stuff for that baby.  A baby that wasn't his.  A baby that was conceived through an affair she was having after 10 years together.  A baby that he hated even though it wasn't his fault.  Or was it her?  Either way, it didn't matter.  The only thing that mattered was the kid wasn't his and he had wanted to love it.  "Poor bastard" was all Nick said before hanging up.